June 14, 2002 Dear Mom, I can't believe I am writing you this letter so early in my life. If someone would of told me I had only twenty five years to spend with you, I would have never believed them!!! It has only been two days since I last talked to you, but it already feels like it has been forever. How I would love to hear your voice right now. Even if it was a scream of rage or a yell of hatefulness!! I knew this would be hard and I am sure it will get worst before it gets better, but I just want to hold you close and NEVER let you go!!! I meant what I said in the poem I wrote you for Mother's Day- how I wish I had known it was going to be our last one together- now Sunday will be Father's Day and since you were my mother and my father too, I am sure it will be hard!!! Mom, I need strength!!! You were such a strong person. I need God to give me the strength He gave you to survive without your mom- HOW DID YOU DO IT??? You always told me that I would regret the way I treated you when you were gone; maybe that will come, but for now ALL I regret is not having more time with you. There are so many things I would of liked liked to do for you! Some of them you knew about and some of them you didn't. One thing for sure, "I wanted the best for you!" And I know you knew that!!! Mom, I lived my life for you and Adam for so long. I didn't realize it at the time, but I am honored to have been able to serve you. Many children just take advantage of their parents and I'm sure at times you thought that but my heart was always pure and my motives were "usually" in the right place! Thank you for giving me the best years of your life. You didn't have to do it, but you chose to and for that I am grateful!!! God has blessed me so much in life. I seek to do His will and continue to serve you through Him and the calling He has for me. I seek to make you proud, I long to make you smile, I desire to do His will for all my life! In Jesus name I pray! Amen! I love you Mom!! With all my heart & then some! CINDY | 
